what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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