remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Welp...herpes.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize