So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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