Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
We smell like vodka and hangover
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
