I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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