Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
