she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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