So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
