Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
