If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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