I like my sex mixed with concussions.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize