I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
