idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Randomize
