Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
