I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Come share oat with me in your robe
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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