So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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