If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
