wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
