Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
