He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize