good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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