I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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