There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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