Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
