am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
