definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I just found a bag of teeth...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
