I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
