just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm always down for nudity.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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