He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I'm really busy with my period
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