be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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