I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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