I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
that is very illegal...i love you.
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