it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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