you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
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