The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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