i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Randomize
