Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
