i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
