So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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