so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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