He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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