Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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