Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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