Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
