What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
