The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize