There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
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If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
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I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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