She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
