I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
