Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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