I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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