I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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