she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You're like the curious george of whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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