Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
